Abby Dees – Why Marriage Matters

I’ve had the pleasure of interviewing Abby Dees twice before for Gay Fresno and Gay Central Valley. I came across this piece she wrote about the differences in traditional marriage and the trials same sex partners go through. This piece just appeared in South Florida Gay News


It’s my wedding anniversary today and I’m 6000 miles away from my partner, sitting in an English café.  Being all alone and so far away is making me especially wistful about these last three years since we were legally married in California.

I had to be cajoled into getting married. Not the commitment and love thing – I was clear on that – I balked at marriage itself.  First, I had to tease out my motivations: was it the universal human urge to engage in an ancient rite or was it the sudden excitement around this new opportunity? Even though we got “equal” marriage rights in California, it was still so different for us.

Most straight people will never know what it’s like to have spent their lives being excluded from full marriage, then to have that change instantly one day – and then to learn within days that marriage might be snatched away again if you don’t marry before election day. Oh, this was definitely not like traditional marriage.



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