Dear Mz. Pink,
I am an overweight lesbian who is interested in finding a “real” girlfriend and getting into shape. Are my goals obtainable? How can I build my confidence before I lose the weight? I have never been in a relationship and I am so lonely. I have a ton of friends and they all say the same things, “You are pretty,” and “You have a great personality.” Well I am over the sympathy. I just want to be the hot lesbian who has a hot girlfriend. Help!!!
Fat Girl in peril
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Fat Girl, I am sorry that you are feeling lonely and undesirable. Rest assured that a relationship will come and you will be hot to your girl and others.
First off, it is good to have goals and reasons to become a healthier you, but if you are doing it solely to get a girl, then you need to reconsider. Losing weight and exercising has to be something you want to do for yourself or you will relapse and regain all of your weight and more.
Also, keep in mind that once you start losing the weight you might not get that special girl right away and that could send you back into a tailspin of self-loathing. So, reset your goals to fit you and what you want to do for the greater good of your own mind, body and soul.
Secondly, confidence is something you will need to start working on now. Talk to girls whom you wouldn’t normally talk to, put yourself out there and do things you don’t usually do. See how it feels and find out what people want. Take time to feel out different situations. This way when you start getting into shape and start feeling better about yourself you will know what direction in which to move.
Doing this will be hard, but worth it in the end. Oh, and please be prepared for rejection and people being butt-heads, but also know that there are people out there who like chubby girls!
On that note, there are places you can go and on-line sites that cater to larger women. This is also something you can explore while you are working out and dieting. Maybe seeing that people find women like you attractive will keep you motivated and inspired to be healthier and to cater to you. Remember, too, that you are the most important in this endeavor and how you feel is going to make or break your goals.
I believe that this makeover can be fun! But staying focused can become difficult at times. Just remember why you are doing this and that major results take time. Just as you did not become the size you are now overnight, you won’t see weight loss results right away. But trust me — they will come.
Patience and a sense of reality are going to be necessities while you work to reach your goals. I believe that all the things you want are within arms’ reach, but set weekly goals, surround yourself with positive people and just go for it. Each time you reach a short-term goal reward yourself. Do something you enjoy doing. Go to the movies on your own, take a bubble bath, just do something for you. This will also establish a sense of independence. That way you will be able to do stuff by yourself and enjoy your own company.
This makeover is a total body, soul and attitude one and it is just going to take coming out of your comfort zone. In the end though you will be a complete package: an independent, confident, hot lesbian woman! You can do it. I know you can!
Mz. Pink
Send me your questions at: pinkinthesheets at gmail.com
