The Valentine’s Day Marriage Equality Counter action was bittersweet. It was sweet to see the couples holding hands at the counter, asking for that piece of paper that would give legal recognition to their relationships. It was bitter to know that they never had a chance (although, I have a secret wish every year that the County Clerk will buck the system and say yes). It was sweet to see them hand-fasted in a ceremony outside, among friends taking pictures and giving their support. It was bitter that they were sent out to the sidewalk and relegated to a ceremony that could only have a symbolic meaning. It was sweet to see good friends of mine on that day, but bitter to know that yet another year has gone by and still not everyone can marry the person they love. That was the bitter and the sweet.
Till I saw the video. Now, all I can feel is the bitterness of the open mic that always seems to be placed in front of that bigoted mouthpiece of Fundamentalist Fresno.
Why do we care what a straight pastor thinks about what a gay person does with their life? How, exactly, does it affect him? Does it affect his personal life? His job? His property values?
(Okay, on that last one, evidence is that having the “gay” in the neighborhood will actually drive up home values. But, I don’t have the energy to figure out why, in addition to gays, anyone would hate for home values to improve. Bigotry is such an enigma.)
So, why, then? Why the drive to stick one’s nose where it doesn’t belong? I mean, it’s already in my uterus, my kid’s sex ed classroom, and my entire AM dial. I mean, if it weren’t for the bigoted mouthpiece, I am sure I would be having monthly abortions, my kids would be wanton fornicators (and joining me for my monthly abortion), and I wouldn’t have a station to let me know where I need to stick my own nose.
Why would you want to stop someone from getting married? You must have a reason, right? I mean, no one could just be petty enough to just want to stop someone from doing what they want in their own life just because, right?
Theory number one: Bigoted mouthpiece is miserable in his own marriage and is trying to protect gay people from a life of trial and tribulation. He would save straight people, but has determined that it is already too late for them. This is the Titanic of marriage: gays and lesbians first. Breeders go down with the ship. Theory number one would not only get Bigoted Mouthpiece into his own personal heaven, but I am pretty sure that he will also get his own day (just like Jesus), and maybe (if he is lucky) a big, pretty cross, as well.
Theory Number two: Bigoted Mouthpiece thought that making gay marriage legal would cause EVERYONE to be gay, thereby wiping out the entire human race. It’s logical. It’s well thought out. It’s got a great tune and you can stand still to it. After all, since anyone who wants to be straight can (poof!) be straight, as if by a wave of a magic wand, then anyone who wants to be gay can (and will!) as soon as they can tie the knot. And of course, since gay people cannot conceive on their own, medical science would die out immediately and we would forget how to do in vitro fertilization before the ink was dry on the first marriage certificate. (Theory number two would also raise home values. See above.)
Theory number three: Bigoted Mouthpiece is secretly in love with another man and this is the only way to keep him from marrying anyone else. While this is the least selfless theory, it is definitely the most romantic one. I mean, what a Valentine’s Day gift! When he compares gay marriage to adults marrying children, what he is really saying is, “You are mine.” Because nothing says romance like obstruction.
So, this is what I think: the media needs to ignore him. They feed the crazy in his head everytime they ask him. They feed that bit of crazy that says to him, “I have a right to block another’s civil rights.” They give justification to his madness and credibility to his bigotry.
And bigotry HAS no credibility. Bigotry just feeds fear. Fear and crazy. Bigoted Mouthpiece has made a living on both of these and has spent time, money, and energy to make sure they eat.
And eat they do. I am shocked and disappointed everytime someone tells me that gays rights is a “political issue.” No, it’s not. It is a human rights issue. This is about people fighting for their right to stand up in front of a county clerk, ask for their marriage license, and to be told yes. Will that destroy mankind? Will that hurt a single person? Will a single marriage fall to pieces because two women tied the knot?
All I know is, I hope they move to my neighborhood. I would like the home value bump.
(And I am voting for theory number three. Eh, I am a romantic at heart.)
